User blog:Mystical Trixter/Cloud Strife vs. Link. Trixter's Rap Battles of Video Games S1
Hello all, and welcome to the first installment of that series I told you guys about a bit before. Today we have a very intense battle between two of the greatest and most well known swordsman in all of gaming and fantasy. On one end we have Link, Legend of Zelda's very own Hero of Time, squaring off against Final Fantasy's Cloud Strife, soldier and mercenary extrodinaire! Let's not waste any time, and let's begin the duel! Actually, before we do, I'd like to extend thanks towards Cyan for helping write this, seeing as he's a big final fantasy fan, as well as both TK and This asshole <3 for creating the lovely titlecards and cover you see. Furthermore, before you read, why not take some time to check out Some Other Great Battles from recent times. Done? Good, now, let's begin! Intro TRIXTER'S RAP BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES VS BEGIN! The Battle Cloud: This mercenary's been given a mission, and that's to verbally slay A primitive sword swinging fairy man, dressed in a Peter Pan cosplay. You're getting passed and outclassed here, you've met with a terrible fate, haven't you? It's the god killing super soldier up against an outdated and no talent Medieval Doctor Who. Honestly, your style is overdone and stale, hence your series always trying cheap gimmicks through the years, A fursona, cartoon and trains are good ideas? Even your CDI clone would say "It's boring around here!" I'm out of here, I've much better things to do than listen to a Ganon-dork's Error filled verse, Not that I'd need to, how would I lose a rap against one who can't even speak real words? Link: Birthed in Kokiri's pines, comes forth the Hero of Time, Slicing lines most divine on thine heinie of this Zero in rhyme Bright does my sword shine, whilst your emo crazy hair heart is dark, Trudging a big hunk of junk blade, something in those trunks don't impress Lockhart? Run back to Kingdom Hearts, victory will be your Final foolish thought in this Fantasy story, And I am the fairy here? Excuse me, Princess, who here crossdresses and was in a gay orgy? I've made Hyrule history, surely you can see that when I spit disses faster than Barret, You can't be saved from my verbal stabbings, so flee, lest you end up just like Aerith. Cloud: Ugh, this is depressing, you're more obnoxious than your blue companions, And with a flow more inconsistent than your timeline, it's clear who'll be the last one standing. Your horse and fairies are nothing to the hundreds of Summons I have at my Call, Your raps are too Soft for me, so I'll have you Square off with my main man Squall! Squall: Yo, it's the man from Balamb bout to spam X till this Link's broken. Your verse was flimsier than your white tights. This silent protagonist shouldn't have spoken. You're just a tresspasser and homewrecker. You call yourself a fighter? Fuck, I haven't seen such a pathetic blond bitch since I cut Seifer! Heart of a Lion! I'll gut you with my Gunblade and see for myself if you've got guts! I'll make your face bleed. You're a bad S.E.E.D, so suck on deez Deku Nuts! This crazy Hylian thinks setting a bomb off in a fucking cave is clever? I don't even need to be here. You'll defeat yourself, you're so fucking dumb! But, *sigh* Whatever... Link: I'd thought I heard it all, but now I must hear the lowly squalls of Squall? My squall of disses blow foes away like a Wind Waker, whilst my legacy is scrawled. So you've got a Lion Heart? Cute. I've the bravery of a whole heard with my Triforce Piece, You coop yourself up in solitude, you'd make even your timewarping sister want to leave. A gunblade seems quite impractical too, how do you not blow your hand off? I hardly see you fight alone, while I myself leave monsters and evil of my land offed. (For the rest of this verse, imagine Link changing forms through his lines every few moments. Throughout the ages from all sorts of places comes a famous tale of an ancestry of greatness Of a famous lineage of different faces all branded my name, destined to slay those heinous Whilst rain comes unto the parade of this dark and brooding Cloud, as Lightning steals his thunder, Meanwhile his chairman friend is unknown, digging his grave like how he put his mother six feet under With this I've reached my Limit, Breaking lame kids most shameless was painless, But before I depart on a new quest, it's dangerous to go alone; take this! *Flips off both Cloud and Squall.* Outro WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! TRIXTER'S RAP *Chest opens, announcer says the rest in tune to the Item Get fanfare of LoZ * BATTLES OF VIDEO GAMES! Who won? Cloud Strife and Squall Link Hint Info I'll be doing this each battle, explaining how hints I've given to the battle were meant to correlate to it. (I think I used that word right.) Our hint for this was this: "Hm, I think I remember the one kid in this one, was he the one always spouting off nonsense wherever he went? His oppenent has an impressive arsenal of weapons, if a bit excessive." To Explain: Link and Snake were both in Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and Link is known for not speaking, only shouting unintelligably, or "spouting off nonsense", Cloud is known for his Buster Sword a very impressive weapon, the excessive part meaning to be said that it doesn't have to be as huge as it is. I figured a compensation joke may make it too obvious. So yeah, that's it. Now for something a little peculiar. Category:Blog posts